Instead of bitching about our world and this society, why don't people just do something about it? I find that when I shut-up and do something constructive and meaningful, I feel a lot better. When I start complaining then it turns into this ugly, vicious cycle that pretty much accomplishes nothing.

When I take care of myself, I always feel good... so why don't I just do that all the time?

I wish I was artsy, like in the visual way.

Leave me alone.

Lately when I have free time, I just want to stay home, make food and watch Netflix Instant Viewing. When someone dare tries to make plans with me, I get annoyed that my plans for food and tv/movie gluttony are ruined because I certainly can't tell a friend I made a date with my couch, laptop and a bowl of popcorn so I can't go with them to do this or that. But I think all that has to do with Winter.

Why can't adults cry?

This is how I feel today. Everything I try to do just feels so hard and pointless. And it doesn't help that I slipped on some ice and a bunch of people literally cringed and went "Ohhhh." It must've looked really bad because 2 people came over and were genuinely concerned about me and kept repeatedly asking if I was okay. I think I was in shock for awhile. Anyway, I am fine but I am looking forward to the gigantic bruise that will probably show up tomorrow morning. Right after it happened I really felt like crying. I wanted to sit on the ground and just scream and cry and be a big, fat baby. But when I got home some great books that I ordered off of Amazon were waiting for me at my front door (way to go mailman...there are a lot of thieves in my building...). Thankfully my books weren't stolen. I am a fan of self-help and books about acting, writing and being an artist... so the books I got all fall into those genres and I immediately feel like I can fix my life and put this awful day behind me.