I had an amazing time at home. It was so great to see my mom, brother and sister-in-law. It still feels weird to say "sister-in-law" but I like it. I have another family member! She is staying with my mom until the end of December when my brother should finish the last of his training and then will be stationed somewhere. I am hoping it's Seattle so I can visit! My sister-in-law brought her dog Mei-Mei from Taiwan and the dog is so darling. I think it'll be good for my mom to have a dog staying with her for a few months. My mom's home is so comfy and makes me feel safe and loved. It was hard leaving early Monday morning to drive back to LA. I'm still sad because I miss my family so much but this motivates me to work harder and to get to a good place so they won't worry about me. Although things are at times rough here, I am beyond grateful that my mom is a 6 hour drive away. She gave me a bunch of house stuff that she had sitting around the garage and random closets in the house. It was all nice stuff too! So glad that I could fill up my sadly empty apartment with stuff and that I could help de-clutter my mom's house.

My extended family is generally no-drama. However, Saturday I had to deal with 2 relatives in a not fun way. The first was my cousin just straight up being rude. She didn't know that Manny and I moved to LA. Then when she asked us what for, we told her. She then proceeded to say, "Well usually when you move somewhere, you find a job first. For example, if I wanted to move to NYC, I might apply for jobs in that area, fly there for the interview and then after I am hired, the company would pay for my move. That's usually how it works." So I told her that unfortunately it does not work that way for actors. I left it at that. I didn't want to call her out on her rudeness. I was so angry and then a part of me started feeling like she was right! And then those feelings started eating away at me but then I was able to remind myself not to take things personally so I talked myself down and was able to enjoy the rest of the evening. Then my aunt pulled me aside and asked if I needed anything because she had some extra house stuff which was nice of her but then she said maybe I'd consider moving back home to Folsom or to the Bay Area to be closer to my mom. I told her that because of the things I am pursuing, LA is where I need to be at the present time. Then she started telling me to get in touch with so and so because they might know someone who could do "this" or "that" for me. So I just nodded and let it go again. They have no idea what I do or who I am. I don't judge their lives and if I were to be a bitch, I could easily say something about my cousin's life but I don't. I honestly don't even think about her life because it's none of my business and even if I did think about it, it would be because I am genuinely interested and want to know more about it because she's my family after all.

So we got a bed today thanks to Manny's sister. Sigh. I feel guilt, extreme guilt. I am writing her a check the minute I get some gainful employment.

I've been watching a lot of TV shows and movies because we have DVR. It's nice because I fast-forward through the commercials and I only record stuff that I think is great. This keeps me from just turning the TV on and watching crap for hours at a time.

I would love to be exploring LA more but I don't have the heart for it right now. Activities like watching tv, reading, yoga and neighborhood walks are "safe" activities for me. I'm not ready to leave my comfort zone. I'm going inward these days as opposed to NYC where I was running around, out and about all the time. It's weird how my life is the complete opposite of what it was 5 months ago. But that's life I guess.

A guy from my improv. group in NYC had some sad news today. Him and his wife lost their baby. It was such awful news and made me realize what's important and that life is so precious.