Patience is really useful at a time like this. I am rushing to be settled and have it all figured out. It puts a lot of pressure on myself and stresses me out. Thing are moving slowly but I guess the point is that they are moving. I had a rough morning but I let myself cry and feel whatever needed to be felt. Then I was able to pick myself up and go about my business and go to work. I had some nice conversation with a teacher at the studio and a fellow student. They're both a little older and are musicians. A part of me ran away from acting because the artist's lifestyle scares me. I need stability and I need to know where my next paycheck is coming from. But both of them are in their 30's and 40's and they seem pretty content to be where they are so maybe if I learn to let go, I can live this life. Moving here was such a shock for me that it threw everything out of line. I lost who I was and what I wanted. I lost perspective. But maybe a shake-up is necessary for me to see if maybe there's another path in this life I'm supposed to take. Or maybe this shake-up is to help reaffirm that I'm on the right path. I didn't grow up poor but it scares me to not be able to pay my rent and be comfortable. I don't know why that scares me because it hasn't happened and I haven't been close to it happening. Maybe hearing all this stuff about a bad economy and social security running out has infiltrated my psyche. I don't know. Anyway, I'm almost off of work and I can't wait to get home, eat dinner and spend some time with Manny and the cats. When it's all said and done, I'm glad I have a place to call home. Here's hoping that tomorrow is a good day because I can't take another day starting with tears.